shit i'm learning about NYC

busy doing awesome things. things that i enjoy with people that i have grown very fond of in a relatively short amount of time. it's rare for me to actually open up and trust people that i haven't known too long. but it's good and it's growth and it's new. i had the most awesome and unexpected few days off. very relaxed and barely planned. exactly how i like. exactly what i need.

i don't think i'll ever understand why women choose to dress up as slutty [insert noun]s for Halloween. i love Halloween ... always have and always will. but i love it for reasons like trick or treating, pumpkin carving, and eating loads of candy. i still love Halloween but it's always tainted by women who feel the need to dress ridiculously slutty. it's very frustrating to see grown women dress certain ways and use a holiday as an excuse. if you're a slut, then you're a slut. don't hide it and then blame it on a holiday. don't say you have self respect and then prance around with little to no clothing on, on one of the coolest holidays of the year. certain women are so stupid and i can't and don't and refuse to get it. gah. i'm tired ... i worked a double ... and i was browsing Halloween photos that have just been put up on FB ...

this happens every year and i still seem to get just as frustrated. it never fails ...

two nights ago i had to deal with blatant sexism. i hadn't dealt with such an obvious put-down in so long. i didn't remember how to handle it. i forgot how to put guys in their place:

omar asked me to pour wine for his table. as i was opening the bottle, nick signals to also pour water for the same table. the conversation i then have with the table goes something like this:

me: wow. these guys got me doing everything for you two.
two guy customers: yeah. well you do it better.
me: i guess. but this is ridiculous. wine and water. these boys are lazy.
two guy customers: well women are better at multitasking
me: exactly! tell your server that. exactly that. in those exact words.
two guy customers: that's why men are at the top. because they focus on one single thing at a time and get it done. women are too busy multi-tasking so they get sidetracked and end up doing menial tasks.
me: [awkward laugh]

what the hell? really? why should i have to put up with such absurd statements from ignorant men? i was so taken aback that they would say such things to me. these guys don't know me. don't know i'm educated. don't know my background. who i am or what potential i have. who are they to say such discouraging things? all i could do was laugh. at them. not with them, of course. and it was a sincere laugh. sincere, because i didn't know how else to react. my laugh was one of shock and utter disbelief. the kind of "oh my god i can't believe you just said that and are truly that stupid" type laugh.

boys are silly. women actually rule the world. but those guys and i guess guys in general can choose to think otherwise ... arguing would just be a waste of time and energy.

now that i'm working weekends more in the meatpacking district i have to be on guard for douche bags and dbag statements. i'm prepared ...

there are people at my work i wish i could adopt. or i wish i could help. but i'm in no place financially to be able to do so. as confused as i am about what i want to do career-wise, i am at least fortunate enough to have an education already under my belt. so as much as i complain, i'm still incredibly grateful: i'm young (ish). i'm healthy. i'm educated. and i have a strong family and friend base. plus, i'm in NYC.

i haven't been back to cali since december. intense. couldn't be more excited ...

got back from work last night at 2:30AM. woke up this morning around 10:30. had a nutella breakfast and made my way to IKEA (which in NYC is quite difficult considering the fact that the nearest IKEA is in Brooklyn and takes about an hour to get to via public transportation). bought my bed (after a two+ week debate as to whether i wanted a futon, a pull out couch, a twin bed, or a full bed). hired a random guy to transport me and all my stuff back to Manhattan for cheaper/quicker than IKEA's delivery fees. transportation was a little shady but nothing to blink at. set my bed up. installed a few things as well. overall, quite an accomplished day if i do say so ...

happy 1 year anniversary w/ NYC

unfortunately i'm not feeling it. in a city this extreme, it always feels like things are going great or things are going badly. there's usually not an in between.

it was actually nice to return. for once. the two trips prior to israel were tough. tough because i was dreading returning to NYC. but israel was different. not because i didn't have a great time. because i did. i'm not really sure why i was looking forward to coming back to NYC. but it's nice all the same. i feel ready to go back to CA now. i had consciously avoided it (in part) because the last time i visited was too great. so great that NYC was a place i didn't want to return to. but now that i finally am glad to be back, i'm not afraid to leave.

israel was gorgeous. is gorgeous. i had no expectations and i was thoroughly impressed. especially by tel aviv. there was so much sunshine. space. blues. greens. i saw the sun set while sitting on the beach. it was one of the most soothing experiences i've had in a while. the sun changed from the brightest yellow to the most intense orange. i miss the beach and i miss the sun and i miss the space from California. so tel aviv was perfect in every way. i had an alone day in tel aviv and it was such a great experience. i was out on the streets at 9:30AM and didn't call it a day until about 7PM.

i'm pretty much 10 shades darker in skin tone. if this was the shade i was in california, new york has definitely taken all of my color (just one of many things NYC has taken). i'm happier now than before i left. there is a sense of calm and a sense of relief. and yet still a sense of tension. part of me is still urging myself to start in on a career path. the other part is basking in the gloriousness of travelling whenever i want. not being restricted to "vacation days" is powerful. with thanksgiving, christmas, new years and a potential few other trips in mind, it's hard for me to start working on my resume.

... and have been grand.

i've had the past 3 days off. glorious and rare. the weather has been merciful for the most part. it's the type i'm used to and know how to work. shorts and a tank type of weather. gelato friendly weather. ice cold water friendly weather. sun soaking type of weather. sunglasses. done. but it's not just the weather ... it's the company. i've been lucky enough to see some of my favorites these past days off. done.