taking a break from the city ...

Q: How do you wake Lady Gaga up?
A: Poker face

Q: How does Lady Gaga like her meat?
A: Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah

(thx to eric for entertaining tracy and me)

classic

while i was still in NYC, tracy informed me that i would be attending a drag birthday party in costume as the cowboy character from The Village People. "what the fuck?" was the first thing that came to mind. but i decided to just go with it. i usually have a lot of fun when i do so, especially when i know tracy and jho are behind the plans. and this time around was no exception.

( more ridiculousness ... )

so good to be home.

i woke up early today. 830AM. got a ridiculous start on my day. didn't have a car. and found the tires on my mom's bike completely flat. determined not to walk every where, i rummaged through my parent's garage and found my skates from 8th grade (or some time way back when). i skated to the grocery store to pick up water and a magazine and then to the community pool for quality sun time.

my skin still slightly smells of chlorine, which i actually like. reminds me of summer school days at the pool during 1st/2nd grade. or, of high school swim team practice/meets. or, of summer after college graduation, which was spent nearly exclusively by our apartment's pool.

going to Here in West Hollywood tonight. looking forward to it.

got pretty much all my stuff moved into storage save for a box or two. my NYC life consists of a twin bed/frame and about 10 boxes/pieces of luggage.

i just have a few last minute errands to run tomorrow: still need to clean out my locker at spice. want to buy cupcakes at Sugar Sweet Sunshine for friends/parents back home. and clean up my room.

flight tomorrow is at 1:15PM. can't wait. i got the chance to see/talk to/text the majority of the people who mean the most to me in the city. don't feel at all sad leaving. would be sad if i weren't going.

seeing my dad specifically for his birthday.
lying on the carpet in my room.
the smell of my closet and rediscovering all the clothes i left behind.
soaking in the jacuzzi pool.
sitting in my bath tub surrounded by candles.
my bathroom.
walking barefoot throughout my home.
the one part of the 405 where planes fly overhead.
being as if i were 7 again.
burying myself under the pillows on the living room couch.
interlocking arms with my mom.
peering into the kitchen oven and checking on whatever is cooking/baking.
ridiculous conversation with the roomies.

fucking being home.

thanks to spice market, i am an insomniac. i think back to high school, when i used to have to record SNL because i couldn't even stay up until 1AM to watch the program in its entirety. and now i have no problem 3AM 4AM later. it's retarded.

i was watching an episode of MTV cribs earlier this morning (pathetic, i know). nonetheless, one of the homes featured was an awesome apartment in Los Angeles. made me miss home. every time i see imagery of southern california, i get this strong desire to just go back. it would be so much easier in so many ways. my parents. college friends. driving. the weather. whatever.

i'm half packed.

done with work finally and i couldn't be happier. twas an awesome experience but it was time to go for numerous reasons.

moving on, i rented a storage facility today. have to pack all my stuff up and am going to move on tuesday. my flight is on wednesday and i can't wait to go home. my dad's birthday is thursday, april 1st and i'm excited that i'm going to get to spend it with him.

incredibly ready for a break from this city. as much as i like NYC and have grown accustomed to it, i hate the strange attachment. what/who will be missed? do i even need/want new york in my life? i've planned to go back to california eventually but i haven't decided when yet; i'm not yet sick of it out here. and, that's usually what it takes for me to move. hated irvine when i left.

i worked a double today. tiring. didn't realize how exhausted i was until i sat down after clocking out. pretty much on my feet for give or take 12 hours.

i'm worried about this last week at work. having high expectations for it. i've chosen to have saturday be my last shift and i already feel a touch nostalgic. i was hired october 2008. with my leaving on march 27th, i will have been at spice just a bit short of a year and a half. it's gone by incredibly fast.

spice has been interesting and has taught me a lot. period. i couldn't be more grateful for having been hired there. i've met extraordinary characters and there are people i couldn't see my life being void of.

i want my saturday shift next week to be a good one. i've placed a good deal of pressure on it. and i'm fairly sure i'll be disappointed. i'm kind of prepared for that. i don't think one shift at spice market could possibly fulfill a year's worth of work and memories and people and effort and learning. with that said, next saturday will most likely be a let down. i feel like i'm going to leave sad. working there has been my only constant and my only foundation since moving to the city. everything has changed but going to spice 35 or so hours a week has been comforting in a sense. i'm going to miss it in a sick way.

seems appropriate to start writing again since i'll be leaving the city in a couple of weeks and then traveling to South America with Mor in April and May.

generally speaking, october through december stresses the shit out of me because they are holiday filled. halloween is usually a let down because i'm not seven and i haven't carved a pumpkin with my dad in too long. also halloween sluts tend to make me angry. thanksgiving is usually a let down because there is too much arguing and tension and my dad gets stressed out, which in turn makes me stressed out. christmas is usually a let down because i don't believe in santa any more and when i compare how unmagical the holiday is now to how magical it used to be, i tend to get bummed. new years is always a let down because there is just too much fucking pressure to celebrate big.

this year was the first year in a long time where i was thoroughly happy during this holiday season.

- i worked halloween. got to see a bunch of freaks before work and during work. working it was a relief because i was occupied. didn't have to think how i wasn't carving a pumpkin with my dad. didn't have to worry about a costume or be reminded that i didn't have my college friends to dress up with.
- thanksgiving was amazing because it was the first year where everyone just seemed to get along. my cousins and i actually had our first ever real conversation since we snuck off to the TV room where there were no parents or grandparents to monitor our talk.
- christmas was amazing because i had three days off in a row unplanned from work. took a bus to DC the 23rd and spent christmas eve and christmas morning with Mor and her sister. we went to a traditional family christmas party on the 23rd that was amazing.
- new years was awesome. worked it by choice because i knew it would be a blast and insanity ... and it absolutely was. went out after work and hung with Chase watching the holiday special DVD of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. got home at 7AM and went to bed.

the holiday season was so perfect and so amazing and everything i wanted. unexpected and simple and fun.